I'm back

I'm back in Ottawa now, back to my regular life. Unfortunately what this means is that my Father has died. If you have read previous posts (and the comments) you will know that I was away this summer. I was living with my Father. He wasn't feeling well and he was eventually diagnosed as having cancer. The cancer had spread from his left lung to his liver and to his bones by June. Being a care giver and living away from home wasn't easy but I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Being able to help someone I love during a very difficult time was very important to me. Dad didn't spend his last few months dying of cancer, he was living with cancer. The above photo was taken just two weeks before he died. He was determined to keep on doing the things he loved as long as he could. Dad died August 26 at the wonderful age of 84. He was waked on August 29th and buried on the 30th.

I would like to say thank you to everyone who wrote me kind and supportive emails and blog comments. Your friendship is much appreciated!

I could go on and on about what a great man my Father was but you probably wouldn't find that too interesting. What I decided to do instead was to share some thoughts about this experience that you may find inspiring. Accompanying someone on their journey towards death is an intense experience. It was my intent from the beginning that good would come of this somehow and I was open to being changed and transformed.

My first thought is obvious but it is often overlooked by us. Love is all that matters so give it and receive it. Don't let work or other things get in the way. Don't take people for granted. I didn't take my Dad for granted and I very glad now that I didn't.

Live your life so you won't have regrets. I asked my Dad if he had any regrets about his life and he emphatically replied no. I couldn't quite believe it so I rephrased the question. Wasn't there something in his life he would do differently? His answer again was no. He was very content with the choices he made in his life. Can you say the same thing? When my Mom died five and a half years ago, one of the main things I took from her life is that if there is something you want to do, then go out and do it. My Mom was born in 1924, during the Great Depression and there weren't many opportunities or options for women from that era. While my Dad was quite satisfied with his life, my Mother was dissatisfied with some of her life, like she had untapped potential that she never explored or that there were things she would have liked to try doing. After her passing, I took a hard look at my life and I realized that there was one thing I would regret not doing. I would regret it if I never pursued my art. Prior to this I had dabbled and dreamed but I hadn't given it my all. Hence the birth of Teresa Mallen Studio. Is there anything you would regret not doing?

Work hard to achieve your goals and dreams. My Father had a strong vision for his life and he worked very hard to achieve it. He was doing what he enjoyed so for him it wasn't "work". He ended up being very successful and he did realize the vision he had had as a young man. Be honest with yourself. Do you even know what your goals and dreams are? Can you say that you are working towards them? Are you working as hard as you could or do you let other stuff get in the way? I watched my Dad achieve his dreams and I can tell you that it didn't come by wishing it so, or by lucky breaks. He clearly defined his goals and he tackled them one by one. Perseverance does wonders!

Be a person of character. No matter what you do or what stage of life you are at, what people remember is your character. For me it defines who you have chosen to be and it is more important than how much money you earn or what sort of stuff you own. During the wakes we held for Dad, people poured through the line up telling us how Dad was so honest, fair in all his dealings, a great friend, liked by everyone, a mentor, an example to others, always full of life, passionate, fun, a "great man"...on and on it went. He was incredibly honest, fun and full of life. I think we need more people with great character in this world. I am fortunate to have been raised by such a man. And yes, my Mother was a woman of great character as well.

Live in the now and intentionally put things in your future that you can look forward to. My Father didn't look back at the past. He lived each day as the gift it is. He also kept his focus on some event in the future that he could look forward to. He looked forward to simple things like the monthly spaghetti supper in his village, grandkids staying for a couple of days, a party at someone's cottage. Do you have something fun and enjoyable noted on your calendar? Did you enjoy today, really?

Look for the lighter side of things. My Dad had a great sense of humour and he loved to laugh and joke around. No wonder people loved to be around him.

Okay, enough of the inspiring thoughts...Now it is September. A new month and a new season. I have spent this past week moving back home, unpacking and trying to get caught up. I even managed some hours in the studio! Tomorrow I shall show you my latest work in progress.

no art to share

Sorry my blog has been so inactive recently. I haven't been doing anything in my studio these days so I don't have any works in progress to share. I have been out of town looking after my father who is ill. I have just popped home to take care of some things and I will be leaving again in a few hours.

So...my blog will stay rather quiet for a while...

July issue of Coloured Pencil Newsletter is ready!

Yes, as the title says, the July issue of my Newsletter is ready to read. Just click here: newsletter, to be taken to the link on my website.

Would you like to become a Newsletter Group Member? Do you have a question or perhaps a piece you would like help with? Just email me at: teresa@teresamallenstudio.com.

Feedback and comments on the newsletter are welcome. Thanks for participating!

CPSA Exhibition, it made it!

Well yippee! Good ol' Jack Pine K. made it to Seattle!

The top picture shows me standing by the newly framed picture. I posed for this shot just in case I never saw the painting again. Okay, I am a bit of a 'what if-er' but I have had mail that didn't get delivered and we all know that luggage can go missing, so what if the courier company managed to lose my painting? To add to my anxiety, there was a narrow window of five days during which all the paintings were to be received by the cartage company. This is the company that is responsible for receiving our art, unpacking it, storing our packing material and then sending it back to us once the exhibition is over. I was worried that my package might get held up at customs for some reason. I was so delighted to receive confirmation that the painting made it safely and on time to it's destination. Of course, it still has to make it's way back here but I can fret about that in a few months! :-)

The lower picture shows the special packaging system that my husband designed and created. He sourced out the materials and he did all the precise measuring and cutting. At least I didn't have to worry about my painting moving around or getting damaged! My husband is truly awesome. I so appreciate his help and his support. He ordered the Plexiglas for me and he also did the framing. His meticulous framing efforts are better than anything that I have had done by a professional framer. I am very blessed to have him in my life - and not just for creating shipping packaging and for framing paintings!!

I am quite excited to think of my painting in Seattle, now hanging on a wall ready for the doors to open. The exhibition space is going to be open 7 days a week and the Coloured Pencil Society of America's Exhibition is running from July 2 (tomorrow!) until Sept. 28th. The Convention Center expects an estimated attendance of over 65,000 visitors in the month of August alone!!! Add on some numbers for July as well as September and wow...a heck of a lot of people will be passing by ol' Jack Pine K. !!! What a thrill!

Anyway, if you happen to be in Seattle this summer or early fall, do check out the exhibition. The show is made up of 125 paintings from around the world, done entirely in coloured pencil. Definitely worth a look!

latest coloured pencil piece WIP

Tree fungi WIP

approx 14" x10" coloured pencil on Stonehenge

copyright Teresa Mallen

I didn't post an entry this week as I have been out of town, staying with my Father. His health isn't good right now. He doesn't have internet access so I am unable to do any blogging when I am there.

This is as far as I have got on the fungi picture. As you can see, the drawing isn't finished yet but I have started adding colour. I am not sure I am in the mood for such an intense picture. Yesterday I took a break from it and I got out some tubes of acrylic paint and painted a small piece that featured two glasses of wine, one red - one white. I had fun with my escapism. I might start a smaller, less complicated piece in coloured pencil so I have something to work on when this one drives me nuts. Perhaps there is such a thing as a subject with too much detail :-) !!!

I shall be returning to my Father's home later this week. I hope to get the July newsletter written before then. If you are trying to contact me via email, please understand that circumstances may not allow me to read or respond to emails. I promise I will reply to any emails as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience.

the passing of time

I was working in my garden yesterday and I reflected on the passing of time. We are here for such a short while. A few things triggered my musings.

I was planting some flowers along the edge of an old wall. This wall is actually the foundation of an old stable that was once on our property. The old stable is gone now and all that remains is this lovely foundation. The former owners planted a perennial garden inside and around this foundation wall. I found myself thinking of the original settlers of this land. They cut trees to carve out pasture land for their animals and fields to grow crops. The stable was a necessity - housing the farm animals that they needed for food or in the case of horses, animals they needed for transportation or farm labour. These people worked hard to establish a farm and now they are gone. All we have left is a glimpse of what their lives were like.

I am planting dahlias. These plants are from my Mother's garden. She too has passed away. I think of the life she and my Dad carved out. They too were farmers, but in a different era. Before I was born, they bought a farm that had the potential to be what they dreamed. Over the years they built a barn, bought machinery, built up a herd of dairy cattle and renovated an 1850's stone house. My Father still lives there. The cattle are gone, and the house and barn need repairs. Time marches on and we struggle to keep up.

So where do I fit in? What will I leave behind? My husband and I wish to be good stewards of this place. We shall look after the fields and not let them grow up into brush. I shall take care of the gardens I have inherited from the previous owners. We too will put our stamp on things with the trees and plants we will plant and the changes to the house that we are going to make.

Nature reminds me of how brief my life is. We have some maple trees on our property that are probably two hundred years old, perhaps older. Humbling really.

Time does pass so quickly. We must savour every moment of our lives.

my coloured pencil painting process continued

Okay, what happens once I have chosen a subject? Well, I either have to create a drawing from life, from my memory or imagination, or from reference photos. As I have chosen fungi that I saw on some logs as my subject, I need to decide if I am going to work in the forest (too many mosquitoes for that option), take the subject to the studio (would require a chainsaw) or take photos. Yup, I took photos... :-) My memory and imagination are not really options for me!

I use my camera as a compositional tool. Up until a few months ago, I used a 35 mm SLR camera with a couple of macro lenses. Now I use an SLR digital camera that can also use my macro lenses. I know that a lot of artists use Photoshop to play around with their photos. I have never worked this way as I worked on an ancient computer and I didn't have the software (didn't have a digital camera either - what can I say, I am a bit of a Luddite). I have had to replace my ancient computer and I now have the option to tweak my photos in Photoshop. Preparing to do this fungi piece is the first time that I have tried to manipulate my photos. I confess I didn't spend too long at it. Spending years taking photos with a manual camera was great experience. I have become a much better photographer and as such I don't feel my pictures need much editing. Having said that, I did try some zooming in techniques and I did some lighting corrections (the forest was rather dark for taking good pictures).

The above photo shows a few of the edited photos that I printed off. I am using a few of them as references for my drawing.

The next decision is what will my surface be. Of course I already know that my medium is coloured pencil! For this piece, I am choosing to work on white Stonehenge paper.

The next step is to create a drawing. If my photos were not what I wanted compositionally, I would work this out in thumb nail sketches. As I said, I use my camera's view finder as a compositional tool so I don't usually need to do any preliminary sketches. I usually have a photo that is the image I am after. Referring to my photo, I create a line drawing that I then transfer to my good paper.

This particular line drawing had just the outline of the major shapes. I am drawing the rest of the lines directly onto the Stonehenge. I am using a coloured pencil to create a grisaille underpainting. You might be able to tell from the photo that I don't have all the drawing done and yet I have already started to add colour. I couldn't resist. I had to get some colour in there :-) !

These blog entries are supposed to be detailing my process. I should say then that my process doesn't always involve a grisaille underpainting. Usually I am not so formal in my approach. I usually just start working on my darks using whatever colours I see in the subject. For this piece I need a good road map and as there are so many lines visible in the logs and the fungi, I decided to create a monochromatic underpainting first.

I shall keep you posted on my progress!